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Thursday, September 25, 2014

the freak show that is triage

I take my seat at the window.  No one is in front of it, thank God. I have already transformed into the incredible hunk as I do every time I am assigned to triage.

 I hate our triage set up.  It was designed to drive the staff insane.  There is a camera that looks at the entrance, so we have a screen where we can see cars pull up, people walking up. Its a long way from our entrance to the desk.  A ridiculous design.  A cruel design.  It allows us to watch people walk a distance to the desk.  This allows many to put on a performance.  Sometimes a person who strode up to the entrance on camera will be practically crawling when they get near the window.

Let the freak show begin. It often resembles the cantina scene in Star Wars. There are goths.  Tattoed people. Pierced people. Women with so much cleavage,  I worry the girls will escape.  Twitchy people.  Falling asleep people.  Yelling people. Hostile people.  People who go to the floor. People who want to show me something on their butt people.  Drunk people.  People who have smoked dope.  Reek of cigarettes and beer.  People who make you feel like you are in the twilight zone.  People who make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.  Whispering people.  People who brought gruesome "samples" in little jars.  Vomitting people. Coughing people. People who can't breathe.  People in pain. Pale people. Flushed people.  Bleeding people. Broken people.  Sad people.  Crying people.  Anxious people. Dirty people.  Smelly people. Plain people.  Good looking people. People in wheelchairs.  No english people. Funny people. Mean people. Nice people.

Once in a while there is a Marilyn.  You know Marilyn who was on the Munsters.  She was the only "normal" member of the family.   The rest of them were monsters.  Marilyn allows you to relax for a moment.

2 comments:

shannon said...

man I hated triage. Adult ER and later in the pediatric ER. All you do is listen to people complain and never see an outcome. It drains you. And on the nights of hours of wait times you are the punching bag. SO MANY TIMES i wanted to yell back "If you can wait 6 hours to see a doctor you probably don't need the EMERGENCY ROOM!!". But admin would choke and then choke me....these blogs are so very very accurate!!! Thanks

Anonymous said...

I just love it when people with dental pain catwalk and laugh in the parking lot, but become completely paralyzed once inside the doors.